You know, it really sucks when the aliens abduct you and then dump you off like 20 miles from your house. There you are, naked and recently probed, and now you’ve got to walk home in the dark. Well, be thankful that they at least brought you back to the right planet.

There was this guy I used to know, his name was Stan, who was always complaining about the probes and stuff, and then one day, he just didn’t show up at work. What do you wanna bet they dropped him off in the Lyra system?

Well, luckily, someone smart has come up with a device that’ll help the little grey freaks figure out which part of the galaxy they need to return you to. The Alien Abduction Dog Tags are just that, a set of dog tags that feature a design that’s based on the gold plaque that was attached to the Pioneer 10 Spacecraft to inform any extraterrestrials of it’s Earthly origin. As the EarthBoundDog.com web site states…

Engraved with several methods of locating Earth in the Galaxy, an alien pilot does not need to understand any human language to use this information. The mathematical location of Earth in relation to several important pulsars is represented by the radial diagram. Earth’s relation to the solar system is shown at the top. Also included is a schematic of Earth itself and it’s major land masses. Two human icons (man and woman) are graphically connected to Earth at points in all three diagrams and are shown with their hands waving as a gesture of goodwill…

These are an absolute necessity and thankfully, they can be had for just $12.99 USD which includes free shipping within the US. Here’s the product web page at EarthBoundDog.com.

Make sure those aliens don’t suck you out of your bed without these around your neck, otherwise you could end up spending the rest of your life learning how to speak Pleiadean, which apparently, is quite the task.

[via The Raw Feed]